That moment in time

5 Jul

There are moments where I feel at lost of what to do with my life.

I know family and friends have told me multiple times to be a woman a man needs and not a woman that needs a man. But often enough there are times where I just can’t stop thinking of you.

Knowing that you’re no longer here by my side saddens me. The moment you walked out of my life, a part of me died.

Buried in all the anger, sadness and frustration – I hope you know that I still love you Edward Cheong and I always will. Always and forever

Why

24 Jun

There are some days where I wake up and cry.

I cry because I’m confused. There are so many questions that you left unanswered. And though I know that I’ll never get the satisfaction of hearing the truth from you, I just wish that eventually I’d be able to. But yet again, I question myself if the truth is what I really wish to hear – especially if it is the truth i comprehend it to be.

Questions:

1. How could you have cheated on me with Gloria Goh?

2. Why make my life so miserable towards the end?

3. Why did you have to pick fights with me?

4. Why blame me for the break down of the relationship when it was your own fault?

5. Did you ever love me?

6. Why make plans extending out to marriage with me while you were cheating on me with Gloria?

7. Why did you spread lies about me?

8. Why did you make me out to be the evil person infront of all your friends when the criminal itself was you?

9. Why did you even date me if you claimed that you were ashamed of me all throughout the year?

10. And lastly, why did you emotionally abuse/torture me when you could have just spared me from all this pain?

Why Edward, WHY?

You truly are that mean person I was told about.

Player, liar, backstabber, cheater, horrible temper, drunk, clubber, an untrue friend and once again a PLAYER!

Every morning, I wake up feeling so confused. My heart no longer yearns for you as passionately as it once did, but i still miss you. I’m left with all these emotions and i honestly have no idea what to do with them.

When you drove off that faithful night, you didn’t hear everything that I had to say. There were too many things that needed to be said in 3 hours. I wonder if even writing a letter to you would make any difference because God knows you won’t reply.

Dealing with this pain is hard. And somehow I wish you were here to help me deal with this loss – but yet again, wouldn’t it just be self-contradictory because the person I lost was you?

6 months have passed.

Aside

Even though the…

22 Jun

Even though the wound is healing,

It bleeds every now and then.

And yet I wonder if you know what sort of pain you have put me through

Before, during and after..

You’re a bastard, and will always be one

Aside

 “Judge noth…

26 May

 “Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.”  ~Sri Chinmoy

Four months have passed, and yet my cheeks are often stained with tears from a broken heart.

Image

baby, no amount of morphine/alcohol can numb this pain you’ve left in me. I love you edward. 😦